Family Ties

I'm sitting at a water park on a Sunday morning. There was a day when I couldn't have fathomed the such--I would have considered it heresy. Needless to say, my perspective has changed.

In December 2007, on the eve of our seven-year anniversary, Mandy and I almost lost our marriage. While the disaster only lasted for a short time it was one of the worst seasons of my life. She would say the same.

We recovered through time, but only because one word from God saved us, "dating brought you together and dating will keep you together". Neither of us had a moral failure, but she was a stay-at-home mom dealing with two kids under the age of two and I was traveling all over the nation preaching. I was customarily gone over 100 nights a year. In 2002-2003 I was gone nearly 500 nights in a 48 month span. Not to mention, that when I was in town I was visiting or meeting with members of our congregation each evening.

My life had been so dedicated to ministry that I forgot my most significant assignment which is to 'lead' my home. I had instead made a decision to 'leave' my home and my zeal for the cause of Christ had become a religious excuse to validate my incompetence as a husband and father.

Adam and Eve were a match made in heaven and yet they still had problems. Every marriage will experience difficulty at the best you can do. However, Mandy and I realized we had to make significant changes. We started by embracing the truth that if I were to garner testimonies all over the world and lose the testimony of a strong marriage and family, the latter would significantly diminish, if not completely cancel out, the former. We honestly believe we had to break-down in order to breakthrough. The end-result is that we learned a lot about each other and marriage.

We now have a day completely reserved for each other every week. Our children are not allowed to sleep in our bed, unless they are sick. We randomly surprise each other with gifts and we send love notes back and forth through various mediums of technology. The result has been amazing. We are the happiest we have ever been with each other. Sexually, emotionally, and financially our marriage is stronger than it was even in our first year together.

This much I have learned... Sometimes, the most spiritual thing you can do as a lead pastor on a Sunday morning is to take your family to a water park. Don't believe me? Let me give you some statistics. The first six years of HPC's existence I only missed four Sundays total--that is out of 200 Sundays I was only absent at four of them. The church grew to 165 people in that time period. In the last three years I have missed over 15 Sundays and we now have an attendance of over 400. HPC still has a long way to go to reach our statistical goals, but it is not by accident that when I made a shift to make and take time for my family, the growth-rate accelerated.

I have attempted to be strategic about when I leave. For instance, I typically choose holiday weekends when many of you are also traveling or I most often pick a 5th Sunday, which allows me to miss only morning services, since we do not have PM services on those days.

It is an honor to be your pastor, but I must admit that I believe since God chose to institute marriage in Eden before he established a church, it must be his plan for the covenant of marriage to honored above all else. I am striving to accomplish that task.

I hope you understand and embrace what God has revealed to Mandy and I. We live and breathe ministry and there are no time clocks that allow you to punch a card and go home for the night or weekend. Therefore, for the sanctity of marriage we have had to choose to consciously push the pause button from time-to-time. HPC has an incredible staff that will only get better with time and added responsibilty. They cover for us magnificently, which makes it even easier for us to get away and strengthen the bond between us and even our children. Thank you for your trust and for allowing me to first and foremost: lead my family.

New Day Dawning

We are very close to unveiling a new logo and solidifying a motto through which we will be identified to our community. I am looking forward to the moment when the drum rolls. However, I must admit that it has been mentally taxing because above all we want to get it right...

Stay tuned and we will keep you posted!

Elkhorn Baptist Church Youth Explosion

Much thanks to Elkhorn and Pastor Brian Rafferty for the invitation to Youth Explosion 2010. I had a great time and the service was blessed with the true presence of God. Souls were saved and lives delivered. As a result, I was freshly reminded of why we do what we do. Keep advancing Christ's Kingdom, Elkhorn!

Absence...

I haven't been able to post in 8 to 10 days because of my travel schedule. It has been very tiresome but I have learned much as I received the chance to sit at the feet of some of my heroes in the Faith. Now I just hope I can employ what I have gleaned. ;)

What does a Politically Correct Sense of Humor look like?

I am growing more and more concerned about what seems to be America's loss of a sense of humor.

The air is filled with perversion and vulgarity which should be
appalling yet it is permitted under the guise of 'Freedom of Speech'. However, at all costs we are politically correct in all other aspects of media to the point that we have silenced laughter--unless it is the
product of profanity-laced sexual innuendos. Yet, to derrogatively
speak of homosexuality as a lifestyle, humorous or not, is now career assasination.

Want to crack a joke about someone's culturally-influenced choices? Go for it, but prepare the next day for a suspension to be inforced by your employer.

My whole life I've been made fun because of my hillbilly vernacular. As well, my taste in food, the type of women I'm attracted to, my inherited southern drawl and even my choice of religion have each been humorously scrutinized at one point or another. This personal life history has led me to the opinion that while it can many times go to far, most often humorous discourse builds continuity as we strive to understand each other's culture.

I was once told, "Never let anyone laugh at you, always laugh with them." Possession and practice of this truth has kept me out of many fights and calmed my temper more times than I could ever count.

America, I humbly request that regardless of which culture you come from, stop taking yourself so seriously. Never should we empower rude humiliation, but each of us can surely realize that some things about our life choices and cultural backgrounds are simply humorous. If we fail to do so, the lines between us are only going to become broader
as we digest inwardly with sarcasm what we have the potential to embrace openly with humorous interaction.

Maybe the best thing we can learn to do is rather than evaluating what was said, we instead choose to evaluate the contextual spirit of the attempts at humor we are sure to encounter?